Can you Survive Reverse Culture Shock?

Many expats have difficulty transitioning back into their home country. So if you are waking up in a sweat at night, wondering why the world around you is so different, yet strangely familiar at the same time. And wondering why you can't seem to relate to your friends and family as well as you used to. Relax, it's okay, research shows that you're not alone.

In fact, statistics show that most individuals who come back home after spending an extended period of time overseas go through a readjustment period. So it's not so much of a matter if you will have to get used to your home again, but how.

During your stint overseas, you adapted to your host countries culture, laws, and customs. You ate food that you never thought you would have, for me that was live bugs in Thailand. Spoke another language that initially sounded like gibberish. And probably saw things that made your mouth gape open, just as mine did when I saw 20 tanks roll past in Jeongok, South Korea.

Now that your back home, you may find yourself in a position where you have to start from scratch again. Your friends may have moved onward and upwards in their careers, gotten married, even bought houses. While your still trying to figure out your next move.

This could set off nightmares about being trapped in our own virtual reality of ground hog day. Where everyday seems the same, dull and grey, because its not as exciting as it once was for you. The 9 to 5 routine may seem boring, the food bland, and parties not as exciting as they used to be.

Even difficulty finding employment as our skills have developed for an overseas job market, and we may find it difficult finding a position where we can utilize the skills and talents that we have developed while living overseas.

Relaxing in Sapa, Vietnam.

So what is a resilient traveler to do in times like these?

5 Ways to Readjust Back to Your Home Country

1) Take it slow by gradually readjusting back into your own culture. No-one is really expecting you to wake up the next morning, drink a late, and then be exactly the same person who left to go on an adventure a year or so ago.

2) Realize that in order to survive and thrive while overseas, that you have adapted to the ways of life of your host country. And in order to thrive back in your home country that you will have to go through a readjustment stage. Many of the things that you had to do such as walking across the road while there's traffic coming towards you, in order to get to the other side, are both dangerous and perhaps even illegal in your home country.

3) Make allowances for things that might seem different, unusual, or even slightly offensive to you, just as you did when you initially went overseas.

4) After a while, your friends and family will grow tired of hearing about the amazing adventures you had while overseas. Staying in contact with friends whom you met while you were away enables you to discuss your experiences with someone who truly understands what you went through.

5) Find ways to enjoy aspects of your host country while your at home. Such as going to foreign supermarkets or restaurants. When I got back to New Zealand, I visited a Korean supermarket with a friend who had also lived in Korea, it was fun being able to eat Korean food and discuss our experiences without having to explain anything about the Korean culture.

6) Find ways to maintain links with our host country. Such as by befriending individuals from our host country at our home country, or by eating out at foreign restaurants.

7) May quickly grow tired of trying to re-adapt back into our own culture and wonder whether to go back overseas. This can lead to a pattern of being a long term traveler, where we are either thinking about or planning to travel to our next destination.

8) Apply for new positions, up-skill, and take an internship to increase your skill set. This may include taking a new course or even starting at the bottom again.

9) Volunteer. This helps you to turn your focus away from your own situations and give back to your community. Ultimately this helps you to keep things in perspective and makes your community a better place to be.

10) Realize like most things this is just another temporary stage in your life. And things will get better.

Although coming back home may feel strange and awkward at first, gradually you will begin to settle into your home country again.

How Being a Traveler is like Breaking out of Jail

Obtain freedom by escaping from your everyday routines.

My all time favorite movie, "The Shawshank Redemption," based on Stephen Kings bestselling novel, focuses on how men can become free from escaping institutionalism.

In this movie Andy a man whose wrongfully accused of murdering his wife and her lover befriends Red, a man who knows how to get things. Red is immediately attracted to Andy's ability to remains calm, steady, and positive despite doing hard time.

So what does this have to do with our everyday lives and travelling? Well, in a way this applies to all of us. Our schools.. our work .. and our personal lives are controlled by routines and rules. And often they are so ingrained that we rarely stop to question them.

"These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized."

End the world of prisons by Luis Argerich.

Many people within our society have become institutionalized and are too afraid to step outside their comfort zones to reach for their dreams. They are afraid of failure, uncertainty and a whole host of 'what if's' that keep them trapped in mediocrity.

"It's my life. Don't you understand? IT'S MY LIFE!"

Andy decides to take matters into his own hands once the warden has refused to warrant him a parole meeting despite having enough evidence. He is courageous, taking responsibility for his life, which is something that many travelers who refuse to let life pass them by also do.

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”

Andy focuses on the wider world rather than succumbing to the grey, mediocre walls that he's trapped inside. By taking responsibility, teaching prisoners, and increasing the library, Andy is able to leave the prison a better place a better place than when he first arrived.

Resilient travellers also find ways to take responsibility and extend themselves while travelling, making a positive impact on their current relationships and environment.

"We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men."

Do you feel in control of your own life or do you feel like your under your bosses thumb? Controlled by people and circumstances around you. At times, it's hard to feel like your free especially when you feel stuck in a job or relationship that isn't going well. But recognizing that it is your choice whether to stay or go, helps you to realize that you are able to call the shots in your own life.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Andy retains an immense desire to live, despite the shit that he goes through while in prison. He keeps his mind active and lives as much of a life as he can by reading books, working in the library, and keeping a keen interest in rocks for the best half of 30 years.

Resilient travelers realize that they have a choice to make today. They can either start living and take calculated risks to achieve what they want out of their lives, or they can limit their lives by letting negativity and fear hold them back.

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope."

These are Red's closing words. At first Red is afraid of the outside world which is so unfamiliar to the one he knew before he was locked away and he's afraid of his own freedom. Ultimately though Red decides that his desire for freedom and to see his friend Andy is greater than his fear, and he decides that there are some ventures that are definitely worth taking.


So, how has travelling increased your freedom. Are you more likely to go outside your comfort zone and take risks that you might not have initially taken before you went overseas? Perhaps your comfort zone has increased and you feel comfortable doing things that once made you feel uncomfortable. Are you more likely to own up and take responsibility for areas of your life, where once you were focused on following routines and rules? Or maybe because of negative experiences your less likely to go overseas. 

Can you Survive Reverse Culture Shock?

Many expats have difficulty transitioning back into their home country. So if you are waking up in a sweat at night, wondering why the world around you is so different, yet strangely familiar at the same time. And wondering why you can't seem to relate to your friends and family as well as you used to. Relax, it's okay, research shows that you're not alone.

In fact, statistics show that most individuals who come home after spending a long period of time overseas go through a readjustment period. So it's not so much of a matter if you will have to get used to your home again, but how.

During your stint overseas, you adapted to your host countries culture, laws, and customs. You ate food that you never imagined you would have, for me that was live bugs in Thailand. Spoke another language that initially sounded like gibberish. And you probably saw things that made your mouth gape open, just as mine did when I saw 20 tanks roll past in Jeongok, South Korea.

Now that your back home, you may find yourself in a position where you have to start your life again. Your friends may have moved onward and upwards in their careers, gotten married, even bought houses. While your still trying to figure out your next move.

This could set off nightmares about being trapped in our own virtual reality of ground hog day. Where every day seems the same, dull and grey, because its not as exciting as it once was for you. The 9 to 5 routine may seem boring, the food bland, and parties not as exciting as they used to be.

Even difficulty finding employment as our skills have developed for an overseas job market, and we may find it difficult finding a position where we can utilize the skills and talents that we have developed while living overseas.

So what is a resilient traveler to do in times like these?










5 Ways to Readjust Back to Your Home Country

1) Gradually learn to readjust back into your own culture. No-one is really expecting you to wake up the next morning, drink a late, and then be exactly the same person who left to go on an adventure a year or so ago.

2) Realize that in order to survive and thrive while overseas, that you have adapted to the ways of life of your host country. In order to thrive back in your home country that you will have to go through a readjustment stage. Many of the things that you had to do such as walking across the road while there's traffic coming towards you, in order to get to the other side, are both dangerous and perhaps even illegal in your home country.

3) Make allowances for things that might seem different, unusual, or even slightly offensive to you, just as you did when you initially went overseas.

4) Eventually your friends and family grow tired of hearing about your host country. Staying in contact with friends whom you met while you were away enables you to discuss your experiences with someone who truly understands what you went through.

5) Find ways to enjoy aspects of your host country while your at home. Such as going to foreign supermarkets or restaurants. When I got back to New Zealand, I visited a Korean supermarket with a friend who had also lived in Korea, it was fun being able to eat Korean food and discuss our experiences without having to explain anything about the Korean culture.

6) Find ways to maintain links with our host country. Such as by befriending individuals from our host country at our home country, or by eating out at foreign restaurants.

7) May quickly grow tired of trying to readjust back into our own culture and wonder whether to go back overseas. This can lead to a pattern of being a long term traveler, where we are either thinking about or planning to travel to our next destination.

8) Apply for new positions, up-skill, and take an internship to increase your skill set. This may include taking a new course or even starting at the bottom again.

9) Volunteer. This helps you to turn your focus away from your own situations and give back to your community. Ultimately this makes your community a better place to be and helps you feel better.

10) Realize like most things this is just another temporary stage in your life.

Having spent a large proportion of my life living overseas, I'm not entirely sure how your expat experiences have shaped you as a person. What I can tell you though is that ultimately through learning to adapting to several different cultures your worldview will broaden. Enabling you to appreciate life from several different perspectives.